Give to the Max Day - Less Than One Week Away

November 16^th is Give to the Max Day.

But what’s Give to the Max Day, you ask?

Well, Give to the Max Day, otherwise known as The Great Minnesota Give Together, is just that: a day when people can go to givemn.org and donate to their favorite non-profits.  Of course, people can go online any day of the year and make a charitable contribution. 

But Give to the Max Day isn’t just a regular day, no, it’s a day for Minnesotans to come together to give as much as possible in a single day for nonprofits.  In 2010, $10 million was donated to over 3,600 Minnesota charities on Give to the Max Day.  There are also incentives for nonprofits to raise money on Give to the Max Day.  The nonprofit that raises the most money on November 16^th will receive a $15,000 prize grant, second place will receive a $10,000 prize grant, and third place will receive a $7,500 prize grant.  It was also announced that the 4^th-10^th nonprofits with the most dollars received on Give to the Max Day will get a $5,000 prize grant each.

So, in less than one week, nonprofits all over Minnesota will be asking for your dollars to help their causes, and Sherburne County Area United Way is no different. 

Sherburne County Area United Way is among the nonprofits that are participating in Give to the Max Day.  Sherburne County Area United Way will be seeking donations which will go towards our funded programs.  One of the ways Sherburne County Area United Way makes change in the community is by funding local agencies’ programs.  By partnering with these agencies, we ensure that donor dollars are used as effectively as possible. 

Sherburne County Area United Way also has started youth programming.  This summer, we had four camps for middle-school-aged youth.  The camps focused on building self-reliant skills, communication skills, and self-confidence.  In 2012, we hope to bring this programming to local school districts and work with students who are falling through the cracks.

Give to the Max Day, November 16^th, is a wonderful opportunity for Minnesotans to show everyone what we already know: that Minnesota is one of the most generous and giving states.  We hope that you will go to givemn.org and contribute to the goal of the Sherburne County Area United Way: to create long lasting changes that prevent problems from happening in the first place.

Simple Pleasures

This past Sunday, Daylight Savings time ended.  Now, I know that this is old news, but it brought something to my mind that I felt like sharing. 

I LOVE when Daylight Savings Time ends.  I love it.  I enjoy the fact that there’s an extra hour in the day.  I enjoy that it’s lighter in the morning (I find that it’s much easier to get ready for work when it’s light out.)  When I was younger (not much younger, mind you) I would wait to set the clock in my room and my watch back.  I was waiting.  What was I waiting for?  I was waiting for a really good time, a really good hour.  After I had enjoyed that really good hour, I would switch my clocks back and live that hour again.

It was quite fun.

But what’s the point of this anecdote?  Well, I was remembering this tradition this past Sunday, and it really hit my how sometimes the smallest, silliest things can really be some of the most happy.

I don’t know about you, but as I grow older and get busier (and busier and busier), I find that I value those little things that bring joy more and more.  Things such as the cat chasing the dog into the bathtub, unexpectedly finding the perfect gift for someone, or hearing my favorite song on the radio.  Those are all things that I consider pretty simple, but have a disproportionately large ability to cause happiness.

And is there ever too much happiness?

I don’t think so.  Daylight Savings ending has so inspired me that I’ve been trying to do random, simple things that can bring happiness to others.  So far I’ve helped decorate a store, straightened the cupboards, and bought snazzy coffee cups.

Doing simple things such as these has been beneficial, and in some unexpected ways.  Of course, these things have brought joy to others.  For instance, straightening up the cupboards has allowed everyone to be able to see what’s inside, and it makes people happy to not have to frustratingly dig through the cupboard to find something (especially since if any cupboard door is open for more than a few seconds the cat darts in and there has to be time taken to fish him out.)  No, the thing that I didn’t expect was that doing these things makes me happy as well.

Now that I’ve written that, I think it seems like that statement is a cliché and I should have anticipated that, but I didn’t.  I just didn’t expect cleaning cupboards to be that rewarding, because it seems like such a small thing.  So now I’m advocating for this notion.  Try to do one or two small things, and see how they make other people happy.  See how they make you happy.

Halloween Myths and Safety

I love Halloween.  This year I am showing my love for the holiday by buying seven bags of candy, even though we get about nine trick-or-treaters, and I bought a costume for the cat.  It’s a bowtie, and it’s adorable.

Of course we all know what’s really important on Halloween.  Trick-or-treating, of course!  But what can be one of the most exciting days of the year for kids, can be a tricky (no pun intended) day for parents.  Considering all the warnings that are common on this holiday, it’s no wonder that parents might worry.  So, in hopes that everyone’s Halloween might be a bit more restful, here are some common Halloween myths, and some information that disproves them from http://www.keepyourchildsafe.org/child-safety-book/halloween-safety.html. 

1. There are razor blades and foreign objects in candy.  There has never been a single documented incident of razor blades in candy.
2. Strangers poison candy.  Again, there has never been a documented incident of intentional candy poisoning in the United States.  There have been claims of this, but it turned out to be parents trying to cover up the murder of their child.
3. Child abductions are more common on Halloween.  Statistics show that abductions are no more likely to happen on Halloween than they are on any other day of the year.  In many states there are also rules for registered sex offenders on Halloween, such as a curfew, requiring that lights be left off, and signs on doors saying there is no candy.

With that being said, there are some risks that everyone should be aware of on Halloween, here’s a list of things to be watching for:

1. Pedestrian accidents or deaths.  Child pedestrian deaths spike to more than four times normal rates on Halloween, partly due to the large number of children out in the streets, and partly due to drivers coming home from Halloween parties.
2. Fire.  There is always a risk when children are dressed in flammable costumes or costumes with loose or dragging pieces of cloth.  The risk is increased when there are lit candles in homes, in jack-o-lanterns, and bonfires.
3. Risk of theft and bullying.  Children are often targeted for theft, bullying and other kinds of harassment on Halloween, usually at the hands of other, often older, kids.

Ways to help keep kids safe on Halloween are pretty simple.  One of the simplest ways to ensure that your child/children stay safe is to go with them as they trick-or-treat.  If you have a child who is old enough to go trick-or-treating without an adult, make sure they go in a larger group, and make sure that you know all the kids who are in the group.  Have children bring a flashlight with new batteries with them when they trick or treat, not only will this help their own visibility as they go door-to-door, but this will make them more visible to other pedestrians and motorists.  If you are driving Halloween night, make sure you pay more attention and drive more cautiously than normal, especially in residential areas.  Last, but not least, go over safety tips with your kids.

Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Word of the Week: Team Work

Team work.  I think that the general consensus would be that team work is an important thing.  We urge kids to have good team work, there’s an emphasis on team work in jobs as you work together to make things happen and get things done, and what would organized sports be without team work.  So, why is team work this week’s word of the week (yes, I know it’s actually two words), if it’s already so well known?  Well, I think that, though people are familiar with the concept in general, there are areas where team work isn’t as emphasized as it is in other areas, though it should be.  And that’s what makes team work this week’s word.

Dictionary.com defines team work as cooperative or coordinated effort on the part of a group of persons acting together as a team or in the interests of a common cause, or, work done with a team.

The area where I feel teamwork could be enhanced is within my own area, the nonprofit sector.  There are excellent cases where nonprofits work well together, United Ways are typically a good example of this.  Why team work is so important to nonprofits is the same as with any other group working together: nonprofits can get more done when we work as a team than we can if we work separately all the time.

In the end, it’s not the nonprofits that benefit most from team work, it’s the community.  When nonprofits combine their resources to work towards a common goal, or if nonprofits work independently of each other, but still side-by-side to reach the same goal in a community, that benefits us all.

The reason behind everything we do at the Sherburne County Area United Way is to stop issues at their source, rather than merely treating the symptoms.  We are well aware that we cannot do this alone, and, thanks to many partnerships within the community, we don’t have to.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank the agencies, businesses, and individual community members that we are fortunate to work with.  And I would like to say that I am very excited to see how we can broaden our efforts through team work within the community.

Campaign Kickoff 2011

It’s that time of year again: the leaves are changing colors, the air is crisp, and people are bringing out their sweaters.  Yes, it’s time for the Sherburne County Area United Way’s campaign kickoff!  The kickoff is done every year, but this time around there are two changes.

The first change isn’t directly related to the campaign kickoff, it’s our Business Blitz.  For the first time, the Sherburne County Area United Way is having a Business Blitz.  The blitz will be on Tuesday, September 27^th, and all local business are invited to participate.  The goal of the Business Blitz is to make connections with local businesses, and collect a one-time donation from participating businesses.  Like all other money given to the Sherburne County Area United Way, donations collected during the Business Blitz stay local, and will be used to fund local agencies and programs.

The second change is that this year, our campaign kickoff is going to have a carnival atmosphere, including a magician and fun food!  We are also encouraging networking at this year’s kickoff, both to let local business people get to know each other, but also to facilitate the sharing of campaign information between companies.  Our goal for this year’s kickoff is for people to get to know each other and for everyone to come away with information that will help create a better campaign.  There will also be speakers talking about the impact of the Sherburne County Area United Way in the community.

The Sherburne County Area United Way’s campaign kickoff will be held at the Elk River Golf Club from 11:30 – 1:30 on September 29^th.  For more information on ways to contribute to the Sherburne County Area United Way, or for more information on either the Business Blitz of campaign kickoff, please call 763-633-5886 or email joy@shercounitedway.org or jenna@shercounitedway.org.

Word of the Week: Volunteer

One thing that is very important to a nonprofit organization is the relationships that are built between the organization and the community it serves.  There are many different types of relationships that exist between an organization and the community, and one of the most important is between the organization and its volunteers.  Dictionary.com defines volunteer as “a person who voluntarily offers himself or herself for a service or undertaking”, but to a nonprofit, volunteers are so much more than that.

I’ll use an example from last week to show you what I mean.  Last Thursday we had a general meeting and wine tasting for the Sherburne County Area United Way’s Women’s Leadership Council.  The Women’s Leadership Council is composed entirely of volunteers from around our service area, and they do amazing things, such as raising the funds that made our summer programming possible.  It’s because of people like the members of the Women’s Leadership Council that I would like to alter the dictionary’s definition of ‘volunteer’ to have “to make a substantial difference” at the end of the definition.  Because that’s what volunteers do: they make a substantial difference within an organization and within the community.

Why is this so?  One reason is that volunteers that we’ve worked with have been truly passionate about the mission of the Sherburne County Area United Way.  Together, we have believed in and worked towards the same thing: fixing the source of problems in the community, not just dealing with the symptoms of the problem.  Looking once more to our Women’s Leadership Council as an example, they are focused on teaching self-reliance skills to youth, which will give youth the tools to help themselves as they grow.  This has allowed us to get this programming into the community, which benefits us all.

While we do have great examples of volunteers doing amazing things in our community, there is always room for more help.  For a list of volunteer opportunities with the Sherburne County Area United Way and other local organization you can check our website: www.shercounitedway.org/pages/GETINVOLVED.

Back to School

Love it or hate it, it’s that time again: time to go back to school.

Starting a new school year always has its ups and downs, even if you’re familiar with the school and your classmates.  One thing that always concerned me was whether or not I would wake up on time.  For the first week of school I would set every alarm I could, including the clock-radio in the kitchen (you can imagine that not everyone in the house was happy about that).  I never did sleep in and miss the bus, but I was always concerned that I would until I got into the school-routine and broke my summer-habit of sleeping in.

My concern was pretty small, and possibly a little neurotic.  However, there are plenty of concerns that other children and parents have about a new school year that are far more serious than my example.  These can including bullying, how to avoid unsafe situations, and how to stand up to peer pressure, just to name a few.

It’s important to talk to youth about these issues, especially since it’s not always something they will want to talk about.  Well do I remember the conversations with my parents that so annoyed me about choosing good friends, making good decisions, telling them if something is bothering me with one of my friends.  I never contributed much to these conversations other than an occasional “Yeah, okay.”  But the point is that the topic was opened up, a dialogue had been started.  I knew that they were a resource in case I had a problem, and I knew that they wanted to talk.  Moreover, I was alerted to possible issues, such as drinking or bullying, before I ever encountered anything. 

Thankfully I made it through to graduation without having any confrontations with fellow students and without ever being in a situation where I felt threatened or pressured into doing something I didn’t want to.  Not everyone has that same experience, and there are many reasons for that.  So many that it’s impossible to anticipate them all.  What can be done is to prepare young people so they have the skills to make good decisions no matter what situation they encounter.

This is something that the Sherburne County Area United Way strongly supports and encourages in the community.  In addition to implementing our own self-reliant programming where we strive to grow self-reliance skills in youth, we also advocate that it’s something that is discussed between youth and the adults in their life.  For anyone there can be a lot of uncertainties when starting a new school year, no matter if they had attended that school before or not.  One of the things that can lessen those uncertainties is talking about them.  Prepare before the situation arises, in other words.  No one can ever foresee every situation that will come up, but giving someone the resources to handle whatever comes their way is imperative.

Word of the Week: Smile

This week’s word is smile.  Why smile?  Don’t most people know what that word means?  Indeed, they probably do.  Or at least they know smile as it is defined by the dictionary.  Dictionary.com defines smile as assuming a facial expression indicating pleasure, favor, or amusement, but sometimes derision or scorn, characterized by an upturning of the mouth.  We’re all probably aware that that is what it means to smile.

But there’s more to a smile than that, which is why it’s this week’s word.

Recently I’ve realized that there are a fair amount of people that don’t fully understand the power of a smile.  On the surface, a smile is just a facial expression, but it can be so much more than that.  An icebreaker when meeting people, a signal to your brain that there’s a reason to be in a good mood, an invitation for others to smile and be happy, the list goes on and on.  All these things show the incredible power that a simple smile has.

Seeing that the power of a smile is so important, I try to find as many reasons to smile as I can on any given day.  After all, all signs point to the fact that smiling is a healthy activity, and I enjoy doing it.  So people often find me with a grin on my face, and I often think they might wonder why I’m so happy when I’m taking the garbage out.  But then a really wonderful thing happens: sometimes people smile just in response to my own smile.

This is exciting.  This is a good thing.  That smile response has resulted in me trying to find as many ways as I can to make someone else smile.  An example of this over the weekend was when I visited my sister, who was ill, and I gave her a book of funny quotes.  The goal was that she would smile as she read the book, and that was what happened.  As we left her home I noted that she looked a little better than when we had arrived.  Was that solely in response to smiling while we were visiting?  Probably not.  I do like to think that her looking a bit better as we left was partially as a result of having smiled while we were there.

You don’t need to give someone a gift to make them smile, though.  Maybe send someone a nice text saying hello.  Hold a door open for someone, this almost always results in a smile and a thank you.  What ever you end up doing, chances are that everyone will be a little happier after they smile.  How will you spread the power of a smile?

Tough Topics

Yesterday the Greater Twin Cities United Way held a conference called the United Against Violence Summit.  As you might have guessed from the name, the day featured topics on violence in Minnesota, particularly domestic violence and violence against women, and what organizations across the state are doing to eliminate violence and increase awareness about the various forms of abuse that occur.  The topics and discussion were great, and we took away a lot of good information that can be used in our self-reliance programming, but that’s not what stood out to me the most.  What really caught my attention was how little people know about certain serious issues that are present in our community.

For instance, I hadn’t been aware that Minnesota had the seventh-highest rate of underage prostitution in the country.   I also hadn’t been aware of the high rate of trafficking that occurs in the state.

Why is that?

I think it’s because these issues are literally too horrible to think about.  We don’t want to think about certain issues, let alone talk about them.  And if we did want to talk about abuse or crimes against minors, how would that conversation even start, anyway?  However, it is important to discuss topics such as abuse because you never know when that information will be necessary to know.  We all hope we will never need know how to deal with a violent relationship, but at the same time we never know what the future may hold.

Talking about violence, abuse, trafficking and how to educate people – especially children – about these issues was a high priority in discussions at the United Against Violence Summit.  But no one said it would be easy, in fact, it was discussed on how hard these topics are to talk about and how hard it is to make someone understand the issues.  Talking about tough topics doesn’t mean that we all have to present a Power Point on the subject everyday.  It doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert to talk about abuse or any other issue.

What is important is that we’re talking.  It’s important that we’re not ignoring any issue, no matter how unpleasant it may be.  After all, I’m not even remotely close to being an expert on the topic, but I’m still writing about it and advocating awareness.  And that is something that we all can do.

Word of the Week: Self-Reliance

A big thing this summer here at Sherburne County Area United Way has been the growth of self-reliance skills.  Our summer programming, which consisted of four week-long summer camps, revolved around building self-reliance skills in youth.  We’re looking at ways to continue this theme into future programming.  As a result, I’ve written a fair amount of blogs that were at least sort-of related to self-reliance.  But what I’ve realized is that though I’ve written about self-reliance skills and said they are important, I’ve not really explained what they are.  And that’s why self-reliance is this week’s word.

Now, self-reliance doesn’t actually have an official definition, at least there wasn’t one on dictionary.com, so let’s break it up, shall we?  Self means the distinct identity or individuality of a person of thing (in other words, it’s yourself.)  Reliance is defined as confident or trustful dependence.  Put the two together and what do you have?  Confident, trusting dependence upon yourself.  Self-reliance skills are skills that allow you to know that you can depend on yourself, and that you are capable of meeting and beating challenges you come in contact with.

So, why is self-reliance a good thing to have?  Why are self-reliance skills important to know?

Have you ever needed to provide a meal for yourself, even if you had all the ingredients already, have you had to prepare it when you weren’t expecting to?  Have you ever been in a social situation where you’ve been faced with a difficult choice and you weren’t able to talk it over with someone you trust before making your decision?  In both of these situations, it is necessary to be able to be confident in the fact that you possess the skills that are necessary to solve potentially problematic situations.  And that is where self-reliance skills come in.

Here at the Sherburne County Area United Way, we are dedicating ourselves to building those skills in youth throughout the community.  Why in youth, you might ask.  Well, the years when people are at school are when major parts of a person’s character are formed.  The interactions with their peers and teachers, their experiences at home when the school day is over, are all vital, and it’s important to be ready for a variety of situations.  It’s important for them to be able to draw upon well-developed self-reliance skills.  Knowing that you can identify and resolve a potentially violent situation before it escalates, that’s important.  Knowing you can feed yourself if, for whatever reason, an adult won’t be around to prepare a meal for you, that’s important.

That’s what self-reliance means to us.  What does it mean to you?

Chocolate Pop?

When I was little, around four or five, my neighbor gave my sister and me each a can of chocolate flavored pop.  We were delighted.  It was something neither of us had had before, and it was a combination of two things we loved: chocolate and pop.  Now I don’t remember what the pop tasted like and what my reaction to drinking it was, but I still vividly remember being given the pop.  My sister does as well.  What a strange, random thing for us to remember.  A can of uncommonly-flavored pop.

I feel that it’s not the pop itself that make it such a memory, it’s the feeling that was elicited by the pop.  It’s not everyday that we are surprised by a generous, thoughtful gesture from an unexpected source.  A friend of mine once said, in response to me putting a crazy straw in her milk when she wasn’t looking, “Everyone should go through life getting surprises like this.”  And that’s what our neighbor did: she gave us a delightful surprise that we remember nearly twenty years later.

This leads me to wonder what makes for great memories?  Do they have to be grand affairs like spending a year in England?  Or can the source of great memories be as simple as being given a can of chocolate pop, or being surprised by a crazy straw?

I think great memories can come from small gestures.  The key thing in both of my examples is that the small gestures were shared with people.  My sister and I were delighted by the can of pop.  My friends and I still chuckle over the reaction to the crazy straw.  Small gestures that bring happiness shared between people will continue to do so, or at least that’s the conclusion that I’ve come to.

There are a lot of opportunities to make memories with others, ample ways to share experiences that you will keep with you for years.  Find something that makes you happy, and share that with others.  I think crazy straws are fun, so I put one in a friend’s cup.  My neighbor’s family liked the chocolate pop, so she shared some with my sister and me.  What can you do?  Knit something and give it as a gift.  Suggest a movie night with some friends and each choose a favorite movie to watch.  Again, great memories don’t necessarily need to be grand memories.

Sometimes the smallest and most random memories are some of the best, I know mine are.

Word of the Week: Community

I’ve been ever so surprised to find that this blog has readers from all around the world (Welcome, everyone!).  It has really struck me how small it makes the world seem when I think about the fact that people in the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia and China are reading blogs that I write and post in Minnesota.

This brings new meaning to how I view the word community.  Community means a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage, but to me it has always simply meant where I lived.  Elk River, the town in which I live, that is the community I belong to, and I’ve never thought about it in greater terms than that.

Clearly, my definition of community has been much narrower than what the word actually means.  More than that, the things that I think affect my community are far broader than I had ever thought. 

For instance, there was a time when I thought homelessness, actually having no place to live, was something that was confined to cities, such as Minneapolis.  Imagine my surprise when a friend told me about a well-known homeless person in Zimmerman, or about a homeless man a friend saw behind a local grocery store.  I had assumed because I didn’t see these things, they weren’t here.

Serious problems are close to home, and it doesn’t matter if they are obvious or not.  Not seeing shouldn’t mean that it is assumed they’re not there.

Maybe that’s why people from so far away take the time to read this blog.  Maybe they’ve realized faster than I have that it is important to keep track of what’s happening in the world, because it can give you hints of what is happening in your own community.  Or rather, maybe the whole world is our community.  Does helping the homeless in the Sherburne County Area have an impact on homelessness in the Twin Cities?  Does helping the homeless in the Twin Cities have an impact on homelessness across the state of Minnesota?  Does that have an impact on homelessness in the Midwest?  How about the United States?  North America?  Earth?

By acknowledging issues close to home, by helping the people who are in need where we live, we have an impact on the greater communities that we are a part of.

So, hello, guten tag, привет, 你好, to everyone who is reading this blog, hopefully the translations for hello I pulled off of Google are accurate.   And hopefully no matter where you are, your sense of community is broad so that no one is left out.  The first part of helping is by acknowledging the presence of the problem.

What do you think?

I admit it: I’m a fan of Britney Spears.  When I’m in my car and one of her songs comes on the radio, I turn it up.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it’s really quite helpful at times, such as when a lyric from her newest song gets stuck in my head and gives me an idea for a blog post.  Absolutely perfect since I was having trouble coming up with a topic.  The lyric in question is from “I Wanna Go”, and it’s “Lately I’ve been stuck imagining, what I want to do and what I really think.”  That got me thinking.

One of the focus areas for our summer programming has been to empower youth in our community, which we have done through four week-long camps.  Part of this is helping them understand that what they think is important, it matters, and it doesn’t always have to be the same as what their friends think.  This is an important, because sometimes it can feel like there is pressure to act a certain way, think a certain way, or look a certain way.  This is especially true for young people, but it’s not exclusive only to them.

Why is there such a pressure?  It seems as though no one likes it when others try to make them look, do, or think a certain way, and yet the pressure still comes from somewhere.  It can be in varying degrees, from being barely noticed to practically taking over someone’s life, but everyone knows that it’s out there.  What’s more is that underlying the feeling of pressure to conform is the desire to not have to care about what other people want.

So what if we didn’t have to care?  What if everyone was free to look, act, speak how they wish?  Within the confines of the law, of course.

I think that we’d all be much more willing to express ourselves.  You can see it in my opening paragraph, when I validate the fact that I’m a Britney fan by saying there’s nothing wrong with that, a qualifier I added on only because I’m aware of the scornful reaction some might have to Britney.  That is a small example of how expression can be limited by worrying about what others think.  But more than just expressing our likes, we would feel more able to express ideas, fears, hopes and so on.  This is what I imagine when I think about what I want to do and what I really think.

What do you think?

Asking for Help

I think it’s pretty well known how important it is to offer help.  Whether it’s helping around the house, helping a friend, volunteering, or holding the door open for someone, I think we all know that these are good, helpful things to do.  What I think is less known is that it is also important to ask for help.  If there are household tasks that might be overwhelming, financial obligations that can’t be met, or medical issues that need to be seen to, it is important that these things can be resolved before they become too chaotic to handle.

The thing is, sometimes it seems like needing help can be a bad thing.  I don’t quite understand this.  Maybe it’s because I ask for help about three thousand times a day (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration).  Examples are needing help to find a certain file at work, asking for help when I can’t find something specific at the grocery store, or even needing help when the cat jumps up on the counter while dinner is being made.  It would be foolish in these cases to not ask for help, because without it the correct file would never be found, I wouldn’t be able to find the pie crust my mom told me to get, and the cat would have eaten half the raw bacon before we could clear both him and the bacon away.  Help is a good and necessary thing.

But maybe it’s the type of help.  My examples are obvious.  They are times when it is obvious that help is needed, and they have pretty simple solutions (such as yank the bacon from the cat and put him in the bathroom while the other person continues to make dinner).  Maybe the harder the solution, the more help that is needed, means it is more difficult to ask for it.  But at the same time, not getting help when household chores become too overwhelming to manage alone can have a more detrimental impact than if the cat eats a piece of raw bacon.

But what if someone doesn’t/won’t/can’t ask for help?  What can be done then?  If, for whatever reason, they don’t feel able to ask for help, it might be a good idea to offer it.  This can be as simple as offering to assist with some yard work or checking up on an elderly neighbor during a heat-wave.  Or checking on someone when you hear a shout and a crash.  After all, it might not be because of the cat.

Luckily, for both help-seekers and help-offerers, there are resources that are waiting.  First of all is United Way 2-1-1.  2-1-1 is a confidential helpline that can connect the caller with resources that will get them the help that they need.  There are also numerous local organizations that offer a wide variety of services to those in need.  And of course, you can always contact us.  We are more than willing to assist in any way we can; you can email us on our website www.shercounitedway.org and you can call us as 763-633-5886.

Word of the Week: Advocate

I don’t know if you know, but the United Way identifies three methods of helping in a community: Give, Advocate and Volunteer.  Of these three ways, I think Advocate is the one that is most over-looked.  Of course, the other two are Give and Volunteer, which are pretty self explanatory, so it sort of makes sense that they might get more attention.  And that’s why Advocate is the Word of the Week.

According to dictionary.com, Advocate means “to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly”.  Here at the Sherburne County Area United Way, it means adding your voice to the voices of others in support of lasting changes that address the root causes of our communities’ problems.  It means to help solve problems before they arise by raising awareness.

To me, advocating is one of the most important things that can be done in support of an organization.  After all, all the money and volunteers in world won’t do much good if nobody knows about an organization or utilizes the services that are offered.  We all have something that we feel strongly about, whether it’s mentoring children or providing services for the elderly.  It makes a lot of difference if people who are passionate about a topic speak about it.

So now I am going to advocate for a group that I think is very important to our community, and I invite you to do the same.  The group that I’m advocating for is Sherburne County Area United Way’s Women’s Leadership Council.  I know, that’s a lot of words, but the work the Women’s Leadership Council does makes it worthwhile to learn all eight of them.

The Women’s Leadership Council is doing great things within the community, such as the annual Ladies Night Out and planning our summer camps.  The main purpose of both Ladies Night Out and the summer camps is to empower women and youth.  Ladies Night Out is an evening focused on pampering the women who attend the event.  The goals of the summer camps are to create self-reliant skills in young people and increase self-esteem.

Does this sound like something you would want to be a part of?  Well, this Wednesday the, July 20^th, the Women’s Leadership Council is hosting an Ice Cream Social.  It will be an opportunity to get together, learn about the WLC, discuss community issues, and, of course, have ice cream sundaes!  The meeting will last from 6:30-8:00, and it will be held in the upstairs conference room in the Coldwell Banker Building on Main Street in Elk River.  For more information, or to RSVP, call 763-633-5886 or email us at jenna@shercounitedway.org or joy@shercounitedway.org.  Everyone is invited to come and enjoy the evening with the Women’s Leadership Council.

Hope to see you there!

What Is Childhood?

I’m somewhat melancholy today.  You see, today is marking the unofficial end of my childhood (yes, I know, technically I haven’t been a child for years, it’s metaphorical.)  At midnight tonight, the last Harry Potter film is going to be released.  And that’ll be the end: no more movies, no more books.  Now I know that the mention of Harry Potter was either met with excitement or groans.  Groaners, please bear with me, this is NOT a Harry Potter blog.

Now to the point that I’m trying to make: the first Harry Potter book came out when I was ten and the first movie came out when I was fourteen.  Much like Westerns in the mid-1900’s, this is something that I have grown up with and is something that has left it’s mark upon my generation.  Now that it’ll be over the feeling of whimsy is done.  And as I said in the beginning, it feels like childhood is gone forever for me.

How tragic.

But it doesn’t need to be.  When I think of what makes childhood so special, and why children seem to be so happy a lot of the time, I think it’s because life is an exploration.  There’s adventure around every corner, and everything they come in contact with has the potential of unlimited possibilities.  That excitement and love of life radiates from children, you can practically feel it.  Unfortunately, that can lessen as people get older.

I think that we all can, and should, keep that spirit alive within us.  As we grow older, our responsibilities grow and it is very easy to get caught up in that.  Thoughts of work, the economy, cutting down that dead tree before it falls on the house in the next storm – that can be a lot to deal with and it is understandably something that occupies a lot of mental time.  It makes sense that these thoughts can drive out more whimsical, childish ones such as “Isn’t that a neat looking bug!”

In my current end-of-an-era mental state I don’t want to let go of the excitement that a colorful bug can bring forth.  I think it’s good to accept more responsibility as you grow, otherwise you won’t grow, but I think it is also important to not completely grow out of that excitement that can rise up just because there is a neat bug.

I don’t think that’s something that anyone has to let go of.  I think that, even though it might take a little bit of effort, anyone who wants to can regain the excitement of childhood.  Take a walk and look at how extraordinary ordinary things can be.  Fly kites at a park.  Color with crayons.  Notice how, sometimes, the smallest things can be the most exciting.

You know, I think I’ve cheered myself up.   And I’m going to take my own advice, I even know exactly where my crayons are.

Word of the Week: Winner

There was a simple mantra my dad would have my sister and I repeat when we were younger: “I’m a winner.  I’m a winner.  I’m a winner.”  At the time I felt he had us say this so we would feel good about ourselves, to make us think of ourselves as winners.  I still think that now, but I also think that he was trying to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If we thought we were winners, we would be.  Clever.

According to dictionary.com the word winner means a person who wins, that’s pretty vague.  So what did my dad mean when he had us say “I’m a winner.”?  How do you want someone to feel when you tell them they are winners? 

I think my dad had a good idea by not only telling us that we were winners, but by having us tell ourselves that we were.  I think that we did create a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that our self-esteem rose. It might not have risen a drastic amount, but repeating a positive phrase to ourselves definitely had an impact.  And that’s sort of amazing, when you think about, how profound those three words “I’m a winner” could be.  How effective they were in creating a positive self image.

There’s been a lot of discussion in the past months about how words can hurt, with numerous examples of extreme bullying cases that have been discussed throughout the country.  It’s beyond a doubt that words are very powerful and can be used in a negative way.  What my dad was doing, what he was having my sister and I do, is an example of the positive things that words can do.

With that in mind, I would like propose a challenge.  Try to think of ways to improve lives, either other people’s or your own, with only words.  It can be as simple as telling your children they’re winners and having them repeat it.  The repeating is important because they are not only hearing you speak positively to them, they are learning how to compliment themselves.  Three little words can not only make them feel good about themselves, but it can also help them realize their inner strength and that how you view yourself is important; it’s not all about what other people think.

Another way to demonstrate the positive power in words is by trying to compliment one stranger a day.  If you’re out walking and you see someone with their dog, tell them how cute the dog is.  If you see someone in a store that has a particularly nice haircut, tell them this.  These are complimentary thoughts that occur to us quite often, but are not often said out loud.  However, I think we all know that it is nice to hear these random compliments from time to time.  They are day-brighteners that only take about five seconds and only a few words, but can have a profound impact on someone.

Words are one tool that we all have that can create a lot of good.  That sounds like the perfect description of how to be a winner.

Just the Tip of the Iceberg

Here are just some of the things that can be found in my purse: wallet, phone, mint gum, pens (most of which work), keys, lip balm, planner, a bottle of water, band-aids, paper, headphones, Kleenex, and some kind of food.  Oh, and usually I have a book in there as well, but I just finished the last one and haven’t put a new book in.  Basically, it’s everything I think I could possible need over the course of any given day, yet I don’t think it seems like that much.

I do think that the contents of someone’s purse can tell a lot about that person.  Kleenex in the middle of July could show that I suffer from allergies, and I do.   Food could show that I either like to snack, or that I have a long day ahead and don’t want to get too hungry.  Both are true.  It certainly seems like a lot can be learned from the contents of a purse, or the contents of a wallet, car, and so on.

This past spring I had the opportunity to work with some high school students in the St. Cloud area with the goal of increasing communication and conflict-management skills.  As part of this the group discussed the Iceberg Theory.  You might know the fact that 90% of an iceberg is below the surface of the water.  Hence the phrase “that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”  And that’s the thought behind the Iceberg Theory, but it is applied to people.  Most of what makes up a person is below the surface, and it cannot be learned from just looking at him or her, or even looking through the contents of a purse.

The risk of just looking at the tip of the iceberg?  Making snap decisions about people that can lead to misguided judgments which can at the very least keep you from getting to know someone great.  The benefit of looking below the surface?  Finding information about a person and truly trying to get to know someone new, with the added benefit that you will probably learn more about yourself.

This is something that I didn’t often think about before, but more and more I find myself considering the Iceberg Theory when I meet someone new.  There are many things that can count as the tip of the iceberg, most obvious of which are how someone dresses and their physical appearance, but this also includes how someone talks or what kind of gestures someone makes.  This can all lead to a conclusion about someone that is at the very least incomplete or even completely wrong.  The Iceberg Theory serves to help create relationships, and it can remind you to look past first or even second impressions because chances are that there is far more to someone than you can tell.

To remind myself of this I tell myself to try to find out three things about someone you just meet that lie below the surface.  Keeping the thought that everyone is a metaphorical iceberg in my mind has helped me gain a greater understanding of people and build bridges with others.

So, while I think it’s true that you can tell a lot from my purse, what doesn’t it show?

Take a Delicious Risk

I’m a picky eater, or at least that’s what people keep telling me.  I think I just know what I like, and I can tell what I don’t like.  For instance, I didn’t think I would like mustard - it’s yellow and it has an un-appetizing name.  I stayed away from it.  When my parents finally made me try it, it was confirmed: mustard is not good.  Using this as a base for future new-food experiences, I decided that I should go with my instinct on trying new foods from then on.  Which generally meant sticking to what I knew and not trying anything different.

Not long ago, a friend of mine pointed out the fact that I always order the same things at restaurants.  I get a certain kind of sandwich at one place, a certain type of chicken at another and so on.  When my friend pointed this out, I was quick to explain that it was because I know what I like at certain restaurants, and I don’t want to risk ordering a new food and not liking it.  This got me thinking.  What sort of culinary sensations was I missing out on because I was afraid of trying something new?  There’s nothing wrong with having “the usual”, but what if the usual gets in the way of something better?

That led me to another question: What if my desire to not try new things impacted more than just what I eat?

Risks have to be taken, there’s no way around that.  New things need to be tried, or you can never learn.  After all, at one point everything we did was new, and that turned out pretty well.  Tying shoes, going fishing, driving a car, eating chocolate with bacon in it, all of these things were new at some point.  Yes, some things might end up not being great, but where would we be if we hadn’t tried these new things?

My point is that it’s healthy to try new things.  Whether it’s trying a new food, learning a skill, or getting involved in a new organization, new things help us grow as people.  They offer us new opportunities within our communities that we might never have known existed otherwise.  It gives our lives more of a variety, and as the saying goes “variety is the spice of life.”  If you ask me, that sounds delicious.

Update:

Since my friend brought up my habit of eating the same foods all the time, I have made a point to try new things.  Not only when we go out together, but at home as well.  I must say, I have enjoyed expanding my tastes.  And I am looking forward to opportunities to further expand.

What new things have you tried?

I Can!

Self-empowerment.  What is that?  It can be kind of a vague subject.  To me, it means to give power and authority to yourself.  Usually it’s the power to be in control of yourself, and the self-awareness that can give you confidence in your abilities and your interactions with others.  It seems like something that we aren’t always aware of, and we might take it for granted.  Personally, I know I don’t congratulate myself when I have a good discussion and am able to confidently express myself.  That’s just how interactions are, and I don’t give it a thought.

But it’s not uncommon for my example to be the opposite of how people feel.  Non-assertive communication styles and, on the other end of the spectrum, aggressive communication are not uncommon.  However, these ways of expression can become hurtful to people and detrimental to relationships, and it can get in the way of learning about ourselves and others.

At the Sherburne County Area United Way, we believe that the ability to know yourself is important, and it is one of the goals of this week’s iCan Summer Camp.  The iCan camp is a week-long camp that started on Monday and finishes on Friday.  The group we have at the camp is a collection of middle-schoolers from the community.  The campers get to participate in a variety of activities that will give them the opportunities to get to learn more about themselves, others and how they interact with others.

The other side of self-empowerment, and another goal of the iCan camp, is to gain self-reliance skills.  An important part of feeling empowered is to know that you can do things for yourself, knowing that you can rely on yourself and it’s within your power to achieve things.  The work that we do with the iCan camp strives to give the campers the knowledge and skills that will help them be self-reliant.

There have been a variety of activities that the campers have been able to be a part of, such as going to Hillside HOPE Thru Hooves.  Hillside HOPE Thru Hooves is an organization in St. Michael that partners with the community to help youth, families, groups and individuals to help find solutions to the challenges of life through horse assisted therapy.  The campers also got to hear presentations from Rivers of Hope and the Sherburne County Sheriff’s Department.  Today, they are visiting CAER to help put together Kidz Kitz, which are meals for kids home during summer vacation who might otherwise not have a meal.

All the while, the iCan campers have been learning about how they interact with others, how that impacts their relationships, and what alternatives there are.  It has been an opportunity for the campers to grow, and possibly even change in a positive way, making them more empowered young adults.  All of this is with the goal that these middle-schoolers will keep that empowerment, and even be an example to others on how to interact and be self-empowered.